2-day

i am in an odd mood today: stuck between hope, and the (very real) fear, that my life has raced away from me. that I might not be able get it back.

i had a text message exchange with my very dear friend eric last night. it made me smile in a way that i haven't for awhile--all of my friends are so far away.

teresa comes tomorrow though.

teresa, the best of the best--and that is saying something.

next month: HOME

i will go back to Chicago to witness one of my best friends, my brother (emotionally, if not, actually), be released from prison. keith will be free. keith will be free.

free.

i am reading a wonderful book about the artist raphael right now. italy. I lived there once. it is hard to remember what it smelled like now. italy, europe--i wish i was there. wishing ain't worth the breath you waste on it though. i make that point in my book.

my book.

my novel.

it is like a child in my womb that refuses to fully develop. such a great and beautiful story it is. so needed today. i need to give birth. i am tired of this extra weight. i am tired of the questions from people who care. i am tired of being someone who is only writing a book. i need to be a man who has written a book. i have so much to say.

music. there is always music. today it is MADONNA. loving her again in ways that i cannot fully describe. she is the absolute. full-stop.

also: linkin park, david guetta, dolly parton, kelly clarkson (yes, you haters, KELLY CLARKSON), crowded house, patti smith, the dresden dolls and bowie...and tina...always and always tina.

sinead o'connor's new album bites in ways that are too painful to discuss here.

the simpsons movie. saw it twice. loved it and hated it. dumbed down but brilliant still. homer forever and ever.

the anti-war movement grows. i see signs and stickers everywhere. hillary in '08. please, hillary in '08.

love.

feel it.

spread it.

mean it.

The Shine Defined.