Kismet and Settecase.

Sometimes life just surprises the hell out of me.

Almost twenty years ago, in another lifetime, in what feels today like an entirely different universe, I was lucky enough to be surrounded by some of the best friends and best people I would ever know. I did not know then, of course, and probably would not have believed it if you told me, that I would eventually lose contact with almost all of them. In fact, if you had asked me then who would still be in my life twenty years on I would have insisted Teresa, Anthony Settecase, Nikkie Brach, Tracy, Christine, Jason, Cindy, and well, a host of others. And I would have been wrong.

Turns out that life has a way of fucking with those things that you are most sure of, everytime. And of those seven individuals on that list, I am in active contact with two and secondary contact with a third. The rest have all vanished from my life, or I from theirs. Who knows? I don't.

Of those lost to me, however, I mourn the separation with Anthony Settecase the most. Partly because I had more fun with him than I have with almost anyone in my entire life, and partly because much of whatever real confidence I have as a person grew out that friendship.

I met Tony in the very late 1980's while working at a mall in Vernon Hills, Illinois. Tony would often come into the music store I worked at and he was something of a local celebrity. A budding musician, he was incredibly charismatic and had the kind of good looks that made women melt and made men feel uncomfortable with their own sexuality. There were hangers-on everywhere back then.

I, of course, was fascinated with him. He had an ease about him that was hard to ignore and more confidence (though, it was, I would later discover, often of the faked variety) than almost anyone I had ever seen. We had almost nothing in common outside of our long hair, but Tony and I, much to my surprise, became friends. And very good friends at that. At times, in fact, he was my very closest friend while at others merely a breath of fresh air who would come and go at weird intervals. Days, sometimes a week or two would pass with him entirely absent from my life, but he would always show back up with his ridiculous smile and things would resume post-haste.

I was little more than a geeky, long-haired, freak with almost no confidence when I first became friends with Tony, but he was able to see past that somehow and eventually helped me to see past it too. It was a pretty amazing gift to be given.

Tony and I have a long and storied history (trust me) and to recount any of it here would take many pages and many hours and would involve the changing of names to protect both the innocent and the guilty. Know this however: I miss those days and always will.

That leaves then the memories, my only link to our past. I think of Tony often still, well, almost daily, in fact, if only because of the one or two photos I still have of us which sit very near the desk I am typing this from. I was always more sentimental than him, however, and I am sure that if he were reading this he would be shaking his head and rolling his eyes--while smiling.

So what? Right?

Well, yesterday I did a google search--one I had done previously with no success--for "Anthony Settecase Musician" and I was suddenly inundated with sites and profiles and histories that included him. Tony is alive and well and still, from the looks of it, quite the looker.

Below is some footage I found on a mutual friend's website. It is, I think, from a local access cable show that our mutual friend, Johnny White, used to produce in Chicago, but I am not sure. Anyway, it shows Tony performing atop a moving bus of all things...The long hair is now gone, but the eyes and smile are still the same.

I have put out the feelers to Tony through third and fourth degree parties and so I have not, as yet, exchanged anything but one-sided notes with 'T', as I used to call him, yet...Hopefully, however, I will hear from him soon. He is living in New York I have been able to hash out, but I know little more than that.

But, for now, the knowledge is enough.

I will end here with life lesson #6999593827475:

Life is full of surprises, but sometimes you actually have to look for them.