Of breakthroughs and moorings...

I had a moment of inspiration and perhaps enlightenment. And it came today.

Some of you know better than others that I have been writing my novel for over three years now--a very, very long time. Lately, I have written a word here, a sentence there, but rarely more than that. If I am honest, in fact, I have to admit that the vast majority of the 250,000 words I have written were written in the first six months. I have not been able to reclaim the fire that burned so beautifully when I started this project and it has concerned me greatly. I have been anxious, at times even nauseous, whenever the thought of my book came to the fore. Much of this anxiety was borne of an unspoken dissatisfaction with many elements of my story and even some of the characters. I left myself in state of constant stalemate because I was too afraid to go backwards and change what needed to be changed. And why?

Well, it may sound trite. Perhaps it will sound pretentious. I don't know. But the truth is that this story came to me like a bullet from heaven. I just knew what needed to be said and wrote it down. I had not given even a moment's thought to the words, they just fell out of me and I have felt guilty about messing with what had previously felt like the divine.

Those bullets from heaven have stopped coming, however, and it is time for to take up again a book that I know is worth writing. And I must do so in earnest.

I must thank some folks now. Teresa who has read every word and believes, perhaps even more than I do that I have talent. Keith who has encouraged and sometimes even bankrolled this stalled project from the outset...he too believes. To Anita Welbon whose sentences and opinions, however few, have helped me enormously. And to my dear Jayne who was courageous in her criticism and by being so helped me to become more disciplined in my work.

I am not sure now when this will be done, but I have a path. And I have a hope.

Wish me well, please.

XOXOXO